I had moved to Ca. to pursue a career in the entertainment field. I was an actor, musician, comedian and dabbled in magic. Surely, something would take off. I know, I know...don't call you Shirley.
Unfortunately, nothing ever really hit big for me. Oh, don't get me wrong. I was able to make a living using my entertainment skills I had so keenly developed to compensate for my obesity. Just not quite in the way I wanted.
I started off as many people do, signing up with the "extra" or what many called "background talent" agencies.
when people would ask me on a set if I was an extra, I would reply, "No, I'm an extra large." Fortunately, I was also a drummer and could do my own rim shots. Badum bump!
I would do extra work in the day which paid like $50-$80, depending how long you were on set. At night, I would hit the open mic nights at the various comedy clubs. One night at the Comedy store, one night at the Improv, another at the Laugh Factory. One place that I worked a lot was called the LA Cabaret, a local joint in the Valley that up and coming comics would work until they got actual paying gigs over the hill at the Store and Improv. I was starting at the same time as Carlos Mencia, Tommy Davidson and many others that you would know if you saw them. We were all just beginning, really. Unfortunately, it was just before the comedy bubble had sprung a leak. Yes, there was a comedy bubble just like there was a dot com bubble and a housing bubble.
in the mid eighties, comedy was blowing up. You came to Los Angeles and went up twice at an open mic before you got a shot at the tonight show and your own sitcom. Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Milano, Tim Allen, Ellen Degeneres, all made it huge just before I got there. Comedy clubs were popping up all over the country and comics could book all kinds of tours for themselves. I'll tell you about the northwestern tour I did a little later.
The problem became, all these comedy clubs started popping up all over the country, trying to cash in on the latest trend. this created a need to fill time for the clubs and they started hiring anyone that was once told they were funny in high school. Everyone decided to become a comic and it got to the point where they would be willing to work for free just for stage time. this created a pay for play situation where you could get on stage if you brought people with you. Hacks (bad comics who thought just saying "fuck" was funny enough and you didn't actually need a joke with it) where overtaking the industry. Everyone thought they were the next Eddie Murphy or Robin Williams. They weren't. It was getting harder and harder to work as a stand up.
I started making friends with some of the other comics and we would perform at a club like LA Caberet and then go down the street to Jerry's famous deli to hang out. The last guy would go on about 1:30 in the morning so we didn't hit the deli until 2am. We would stay there for hours, critiquing each other's act and brainstorming new material. It was a great time for me as I was able to be creative on the spur of the moment, which is what I do best. my written material was funny but I found I was always better at improvising off the top of my head. I fed off the conversation as much as I did the food I was eating. And speaking of that, my favorite order was the lox and bagel platter and an extra bagel. This was a large plate with a bagel cut and each half topped with cream cheese, lox and tomato. The extra bagel was to make it into 2 sandwiches. I would wash down this healthy dish with a large chocolate milk (I was a real partier in those days, slamming C milk and such. Don't even get me started on Yoohoo. The stories I could tell...).
So, I'm eating a 2000-3000 calorie meal at 3 in the morning and then going to bed and doing this 2-3 times a week. Why was I still gaining weight? It was a conundrum!
The problem became, all these comedy clubs started popping up all over the country, trying to cash in on the latest trend. this created a need to fill time for the clubs and they started hiring anyone that was once told they were funny in high school. Everyone decided to become a comic and it got to the point where they would be willing to work for free just for stage time. this created a pay for play situation where you could get on stage if you brought people with you. Hacks (bad comics who thought just saying "fuck" was funny enough and you didn't actually need a joke with it) where overtaking the industry. Everyone thought they were the next Eddie Murphy or Robin Williams. They weren't. It was getting harder and harder to work as a stand up.
I started making friends with some of the other comics and we would perform at a club like LA Caberet and then go down the street to Jerry's famous deli to hang out. The last guy would go on about 1:30 in the morning so we didn't hit the deli until 2am. We would stay there for hours, critiquing each other's act and brainstorming new material. It was a great time for me as I was able to be creative on the spur of the moment, which is what I do best. my written material was funny but I found I was always better at improvising off the top of my head. I fed off the conversation as much as I did the food I was eating. And speaking of that, my favorite order was the lox and bagel platter and an extra bagel. This was a large plate with a bagel cut and each half topped with cream cheese, lox and tomato. The extra bagel was to make it into 2 sandwiches. I would wash down this healthy dish with a large chocolate milk (I was a real partier in those days, slamming C milk and such. Don't even get me started on Yoohoo. The stories I could tell...).
So, I'm eating a 2000-3000 calorie meal at 3 in the morning and then going to bed and doing this 2-3 times a week. Why was I still gaining weight? It was a conundrum!
Only if you made it BIG! Well I guess certain things happen for a reason, but yeah maybe you should have laid off the extra bagel and the fact that you were eating this at 2am didn't help the matter. Agreed, WHAT A CONUNDRUM!!!
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